![roxane gay pieces roxane gay pieces](https://i-d-images.vice.com/images/articles/meta/2016/07/26/untitled-article-1469564883.png)
Both times that I have opened up to a partner about being bulimic, I was asked, “you made yourself throw up?” and I had to explain, “no, I abused laxatives I used laxatives to purge” – which is met with “but you didn’t throw up? Isn’t that purging?”Įven harder to explain is over exercising as a form of purging, but the laxative thing really throws people for a loop. Bulimia is not depicted as often as anorexia, but even less often depicted as laxative abuse. While my personal eating disorder varied from anorexia, EDNOS, and bulimia, I was left with a diagnosis of bulimia. Something I enjoyed (is enjoyed the right word?) was seeing bulimia represented. While reading ‘Hunger,’ despite having straight, white, thin privilege, I still related to so many sentences regarding her relationship with food and her body image, mostly due to my past with an eating disorder (and depression?).
![roxane gay pieces roxane gay pieces](https://hips.hearstapps.com/ell.h-cdn.co/assets/17/24/1600x800/landscape-1497282367-elm070117esroxanegay-comp.jpg)
This isn’t to say that men or people of any other gender do not have disordered relationships with food and their bodies, but in our cisnormative sexist society, it’s pretty damn common for women to be the victims of body and food shaming. It is amazing but incredibly sad to me that most women universally have a disordered relationship with food and their body.
![roxane gay pieces roxane gay pieces](https://artsy-media-uploads.s3.amazonaws.com/xngdeP5w1a860lo755kwjA%2FEC-Artsy-RoxaneGay-09.jpg)
I have never been overweight, and I did not experience the sexual assault Gay did (I experienced something, but it is something I am still uncomfortable talking about and may or may not write a blog post about in the future.) And I found that hard to believe – I wasn’t expecting to relate, and honestly, I feel like I shouldn’t be able to relate, because my experience with my body and weight and food, while disordered, is not the same (I have straight, white, thin privilege). There were a few feelings that Roxane Gay describes in ‘Hunger’ that I had never experienced put into words – feelings that I’ve felt my entire life, unable to explain. We all should be, and promoting the fuck out of them. But that doesn’t mean that I shouldn’t read these books – I should be reading these books, and so should you. Representation is important for those who are typically not represented – it’s not about my feelings. It was not ‘for’ me.Īnd honestly, these books (or movies, etc) are not made for me. I thought that anything about someone not like me would be impenetrable, not relatable, or that I was not ‘supposed’ to be reading it. In the past, before I began thinking intellectually and critically about what I was reading, I honestly only read things I could ‘relate’ to – I found comfort, I guess, in narratives about people like me. I am complaining about the depictions of eating disorders and then offering a step towards a solution: go read ‘Hunger’! I have posted about it on Instagram and Twitter. This is why I read ‘Hunger’ – it is not enough for us to sit around complaining that straight, white, thin (in this case, also conventionally pretty anorexic women) are depicted as the norm (in this case, as the face of eating disorders.) We must also look at narratives that challenge this stereotype and then talk about them, too. Why are we ending our pursuit of representation at critiquing that which comes in a white, thin, pretty package? Why aren’t we spending an equal, or even greater, amount of energy engaging with and amplifying those who do challenge that narrative? Ultimately, this quote from Melissa’s piece sticks with me the most: I instead recommend first reading ‘Hunger’ and then reading Melissa’s piece. I am going to try not to restate the same points that Melissa does in her writing, despite having the same mindset, feelings, and opinions, because I am not here to regurgitate her words and information. I took my time because the book was something I needed to experience, not just read. I could have finished it in just one sitting, but I took notes as I read, jotting down my favorite quotes. I devoured the book, finishing it in three sittings. Fabello’s piece Why We Need More ‘Hunger’ And Less ‘To The Bone’ – and it’s no surprise that I decided to opt out of watching ‘To The Bone’ and instead read ‘Hunger.’ I was introduced to the book ‘Hunger’ by Roxane Gay through Melissa A. *If anything I say in this post is phrased problematically or is problematic itself, please let me know so I can learn – I strive to be better and do better always when it comes to body politics and intersectional feminism